There is so much talk about longevity as a key goal and if you pay attention to any type of social media posts or podcasts, it would appear that targeting cholesterol, blood sugar, taking hormones, peptides, exercising and a few hundred supplements will help you achieve this goal. Doing all of this also implies if you live longer and are healthier you will have a happier life.
However, one of the longest studies looking at the question on what are the key traits for a fulfilling and meaningful life and yes, even longer, has nothing to do with cholesterol, etc. Now, I am not saying those things are not important but there is something much more important to focus on and guess what….this is attainable by every single person no matter what your age!
The Harvard Study of Adult Development has been asking this question since the onset of the study in 1938 tracking approximately 724 men from two cohorts: over 260 Harvard students and second group of over 400 disadvantaged inner city youths. 87 years and counting, the study evaluates their work, home life, health, looks at medical records, blood tests and interviews their spouses. While a few original members are still alive, the study continues by evaluating the children of these men!
READ ON to learn the most important thing you can do to help yourself have a more fulfilling life….
Men in the study had a variety of life experiences and a fulfilling life was not based on their socioeconomic status. It did not matter which group they started out in or their career path. The most important factor had to do with their social interactions.
I have written about how toxic loneliness is and that isolation is never a good thing for our mental well-being. According to Dr. Robert Waldinger, the current director of this study, approximately 1 in 5 people report they are lonely. You don’t have to be alone to be lonely though. Many relationships will have one partner feeling lonely. It is also not the number of friends you have as a determining factor.
The determining factor is the QUALITY of our relationships. Those that have trust, support and emotional warmth is the single most important predictor of long-term happiness and health. How safe are you in that relationship? Will they be there for you when you are sick or hurting? Will they show up for you when you are down? Is this relationship warm and loving? Do they have your back?
Simply put, conflict in relationships is bad for our health. Warm, supportive relationships are good for our health.
Positive relationships contribute to faster recovery, stronger immune systems and even slower rate of cognitive decline. They are less likely to develop medical conditions like heart disease, and diabetes. When they looked at people in pain who had strong relationships, these people reported still feeling happy and fulfilled even though they were hurting while those who didn’t have those relationships reported more pain and dissatisfaction.
Take a moment and reflect on your relationships. If you don’t have someone that provides that emotional warmth and connection then now is the time to start fostering those relationships. Dr Waldinger advises to reach out to the estranged family members, replace screen time with people time and do things to foster deeper connections with current friends by trying new things together. Remember, this is not about having tons of relationships or friends. Focus on fostering a really good connection with the ones you do have.
To your health,
Laura
