I know, I know. I hear it every single day multiple times a day. You want more libido. And YES this is women talking!! With Valentines coming up maybe we need to get this up to speed and fast.
We think it is switch that all we have to do is flip it on and there you go and the common misconception is testosterone is that switch. Not so fast. While testosterone can help especially in levels that are higher than your body has ever produced (even when you were 20) there is so much more to libido than T. And high T can come with it’s own issues.
Here is the libido best analogy I have ever heard:
- Men have a single button that says ON or OFF. No in between.
- Women are like the cockpit of an airplane with a 100 switches. If this happens then flip this one and flip these five for take off and then these 10 to sustain. You know this is so right!!
Let’s dive into what you can do for libido that Cupid would approve! Men you need to read this because you have to be an active participant to make this happen.
By now surely you have realized that libido for a woman is between the ears.
- Were the dishes done
- Are the kids taken care of
- What’s on the agenda tomorrow
- Did someone help with the laundry
- Did they say I looked nice today
Men, if you have ever tried to nuzzle up to your lady while they were cooking how did that go? Probably not so well, because we are task oriented. When we are in the middle of a project it is not easy to shift so you have to keep that in mind. Doesn’t mean you don’t nuzzle up it just means you really need to be cognizant of what is happening at that particular moment. If something is about to burn it is not the time to nuzzle. If it is in the early stages then reach over and turn off the stove and say, dinner can wait. I just want to kiss you. Baby steps! READ ON for 4 Cupid Approved tips to increase your libido….
Ladies, you have to do your part. So many of us have put our sex life on the to do list.
- Laundry
- Dishes
- Kids
- Sex (and in all honesty it is usually not that high if on the list at all)
You have to make a conscious effort to move it to the top of the to do list. Let’s talk about how.
Of course, stress is the number one reason sex is on the back-burner. When we are stressed (this is for men and women) we produce a binding globulin that is appropriately called sex hormone binding globulin that binds up our sex hormones so we won’t think about sex. Think about it. If we are being chased by a lion and stop to have sex we will be eaten by the lion so our body has this protective mechanism for our safety. If you are tired, sick, have tons of stress, have emotional trauma surrounding sex then sex will naturally be on the back burner and until you deal with all of those issues it will most likely remain there. Get some help and figure out the underlying causes and address them!
In the meantime here are a few tips that might get you started on the right track….
- Get over yourself. I mean this in the most loving way. Are you avoiding sex because that means you have to be naked and you don’t feel good about your body. Guess what?! They don’t care!! They just want you no matter what! Men – just FYI – if you are body shaming your lady then shame on you and you need to realize this plays out in the bedroom. Ladies back to you…go buy one nice lingerie outfit that you feel amazing in. Maybe it’s a lacy robe or a flowy baby doll nightie. If you think you are the only one that is overweight wanting lingerie you are so mistaken. Take a look at Yandy and you will find yourself something nice without breaking the bank.
- If sex hurts, fix it! If sex is painful then of course you don’t want to do it so your brain simply shuts that possibility off and puts it in the “not in a million years” list. There are so many things you can do for this:
- See your ob/gyn about using vaginal estrogen. I usually prescribe compounded estriol because I think it works better than the other estrogens. There are other options including medications like Imvexxy though. Just have the conversation.
- Try Hyaluronic acid inside and out. Oral Hyaluronic acid can help with dryness all over as well as vaginal dryness. You usually need other treatments for vaginal dryness but this sure can help. Hyaluronic acid suppositories like Revaree by Bonafide can make a big improvement, too. These are great options if you are wanting to stay hormone free.
- Lasers like the Mona Lisa can help the vaginal tissue.
- Ultrasound procedures like the Cliovana can help with moisture and it is non-invasive with zero pain! (We do this in our office so call us today)
- Use the right lube – so many different options. Water based ones have a tendency to dry out the longer you go so try one with a different base for lasting moisture. Uberlube would be a good one to consider.
- Decreased sensation. This is real and you aren’t the only one. You’ve heard the saying if you don’t use it you lose it. Well, that counts in this department. In the meantime, try these things:
- Topical Heating lube or RX for lube that has the ability to increase blood flow to that area – apply directly to clitoris
- Topical testosterone – this can help enlarge the clitoris but be careful and don’t do this too often of it may cause the clitoris to be larger than you want and have decreased sensation.
- Cliovana ultrasound procedure really can help increase your sensitivity and ability to have an orgasm (We do this in our office so call us today)
- Products with Nitric Oxide increase blood flow and can help with sensation. Arginine can help also but if you are prone to any type of herpes breakouts in your body it can make that worse so avoid in these instances
- Think about it. Get excited about what you are wearing. Flirt like you did when you first started dating. Plan on initiating sex (yes, guys you can thank me later). Since when did sex get off the fun list? It’s been too long and time for you to relax and have some fun.
Valentines is coming up. Start planning your date night now and have a FUN filled evening!!
To your health,
Laura
